Sweet Roxie

When Aaron was a baby I decided that we should get a dog. I wanted one that was going to be gentle, and good with kids, but not too high strung or yappy. I had wanted a dog for awhile, and then after 9/11, the need for me became greater. After some research, I decided that a Golden Retriever was the perfect dog for us. So I began to search the want ads. Turns out that Golden Retriever puppies weren't as easy to find as you might think. We found a litter in a town about an hour and a half away, so we set out on the trip to go pick out our new puppy.

The choice was more difficult than I expected. There were about 11 golden balls of fluff to pick from. The moment we stepped into the pen with them, it was mayhem. Puppies everywhere, chewing on every shoe lace in sight. We sat and let them climb over us as we tried to make a decision about which one was right for our family. I was at a loss. There were so many choices, and I just couldn't decide. Finally, I asked Mike to choose, and he did. We got our paperwork and began the ride home.

Somewhere along the way, we decided on the name Roxie.

As time passed, Roxie grew, and grew, and grew. And, as retrievers, and puppies, of all kinds are prone to do, she chewed and chewed and chewed. My plan had been for her to be an indoor dog, but I soon realized that a 1400 square foot house just wasn't big enough, and Aaron was just too small for her rambunctious ways, so Roxie became an outside dog. I've really always regretted that decision.

In May 2004, we moved to a current house, and Roxie was absolutely in dog heaven. Because of the setup of our yard, she was able to be with us whenever we went outside to do anything. She would come with us into the pool area when we were swimming, and showed us what a hero she was when she would step in between Clayton and me, not allowing him into the pool.

She would chase squirrels, and rabbits, and neighborhood cats, and any stray chickens that had the misfortune to come visit.

She was the sole canine mascot of the construciton company that built the fire department across the street, because she got out most every day and went over to supervise their progress.

She would get out and go visit our new church up the street. It wasn't unusual to get calls from the church receptionist telling us Roxie had come to see them.

She found a boyfriend, clearly on the sly, and we never even knew it until we finally figured out about 3 days before she gave birth, that she was pregnant. Being a typical teenage girl, she fell for the no-good boys line again a few months later, and had a second litter before we finally had her spayed.

We got a good laugh at her expense for awhile after that, because our always lean young girl finally began to show some signs of middle aged spread, to the point that she huffed whenever she tried to climb up on the porch.

Her shoulders started to bother her a bit more, and as time passed, it became clear that she wasn't as young as she once was. Her muzzle began to grey, and her sense of smell began to go. Squirrels and cats who were once wary of our yard began to feel a bit more safe than before. I remember walking outside one day and seeing no less than 8 squirrels frolicing not 50 feet from her while she lay fast asleep, oblivious to the action.

She never quit watching out for us though. During the day, when we were gone to work and school, she laid at the end of the driveway, with her nose stretched out under the gate, just waiting for us to come home. And when we did, she would get up, and move back out of the way so that she could stand there and bark at us. Which she would do until we got completely into the yard, whereupon she would take off running to the back of the property, circling the fence, securing the perimeter for us. And then she would follow us wherever we would go until we finally went into the house, and then she would lay on the back porch to wait for us to come out again. If the sun was shining, she might move off into the grass to lay in its rays but she would always come back when we came outside. She would stay on the back porch, directly in front of the door, so that you would have to literally step over her whenever you came out. And she would follow all of us, but particularly Mike, to wherever he would go when he was outside. One of her favorite times, I think, was when he would be smoking some sort of meat, and so would be outside most of the evening. She would stay there with him, keeping him company, in only the way a good dog can. Whenever Mike would finally come in at the end of the night, and all the lights would be turned off at last, she would move to the front porch, and sleep outside our bedroom window, keeping watch over us through the night.

Mike and I had both been noticing over about the past year how much Roxie was beginning to age. Although not quite 8, the two litters of puppies so close together took a real toll on her, and she was slowing down in many ways. And then in January we got Abby. I worried about Roxie being jealous, but was surprised and pleased by her reaction instead. To Roxie, Abby was a high speed moving chew toy, meant solely for her entertainment. In the past 3.5 months, we saw Roxie romp and run and play more than we had in years. Having the puppy around seemed to bring out puppy in Roxie that hadn't been seen in a very long time.

Roxie was everything that dog owner could ever want. She was sweet, and gentle, and loyal to the end. And she gave us so much more than we ever could have given her.

She died last night, and we buried her up by the gate, by the spot where she liked to lay and wait for us to come home. We planted a rose bush in the middle of her grave, that will hopefully grown big and strong and always remind us of the sweet spirit whose body lies there.

I know that there are people who don't believe that animals go to heaven, but I know that those people are wrong. I know that today Sweet Roxie is once again chasing squirrels up trees up in heaven, and receiving all the love and attention from some little boy or girl there who has gone on ahead. I have no doubt of that.

Our lives were made so much richer by her presence, and will be sad and empty with her absence. I don't know that I will ever come home without expecting her welcome, or go to sleep, without expecting to hear her steps outside my window.

Roxie, you were loved deeply, though I didn't show it nearly as much as I should have, and you will be greatly missed. Thank you for spending your life with us.