Could I be any less graceful?

In the past 3 months, I have badly sprained my ankle, run over the dog, poured 1/2 cup of frozen sweetened coffee down inside my briefcase, all over my phone, and all over legal papers. You'd think that would be enough for one person, but oh no. This morning while cooking breakfast, I managed to drop one of my plates directly on the big toe of my left foot. The toe underneath the toenail immediately turned black, and the toe began swelling. I can't tell for sure if it's broken, but I've not gone to the doctor, since there's not much they could do anyway. Since then, Aaron has managed to step on that toe once, and Clayton twice. I'm sure it's a lovely shade of purple and green by now, but I refuse to take off my shoe and sock to look!